One Week

I can't believe how quickly this week passed. It makes me very sad to know that it will probably always be like this, but mostly knowing how soon I'll be back at work and away from my sweet girl.

This week has been crazy. Arwen had her first doctor appointment the day after we got home (Wednesday) and were told that she was losing too much weight, which resulted in a visit on Thursday. She'd only regained an ounce so we had to start supplementing her with formula, which neither Chris nor I was happy about. It was a bit demoralizing thinking that I couldn't keep my baby happy and growing, but hearing from other moms having to do this same thing was a little helpful. We spent the rest of the day and night feeding her formula from a medicine cup after nursing. I suppose she might have taken a bottle, but we weren't really willing to risk any sort of nipple confusion this early. It was pretty cute though; she looked like a little young pup lapping milk. We were back in the office on Friday to see how much, if any, weight she'd gained. Thankfully, between the formula and my milk coming in she had put on 4 ounces so we were able to get her back to nursing exclusively. And it's been non-stop since then.

Let me tell you, this girl can eat. Holy moly. And not only does she like to eat, she likes to nap while she's eating. There have been several 2 hour nursing sessions because she eats and naps, eats and naps. So, clearly she and I are still trying to get this whole nursing thing figured out. She also poops. A lot. I've always heard that babies eat, sleep and poop, but this is a little more than I bargained for. It is sort of funny though, if poop can even be funny. Right now, with this level of fatigue, anything has potential to be funny. It's socially acceptable for babies to have awful noises coming from their rear end and I'm still not quite used to having someone around that can get away with that, I suppose. Every time she does it in public I sort of draw up inside. In my mind I think Chris has done it and I die a little. Then I laugh at the notion that my husband would just forget himself and let his bowels get the best of him. (Oh Lord she just did it and I flinched...I'm not even a prude about things like that. Go figure.)

We've also had company this week which has been a little tougher than I imagined. I look forward to family seeing Arwen and spending time with her, but I didn't realize how hard it would really be for me. I'm spun as tight as a top after a couple hours of someone else holding her and stealing her kisses and smell. I just start pacing and fidgeting and feeling like I could pull my hair out. Rather than fully admit that I might be going a little wacko I tell myself that the newness has still not worn off for me yet. Nursing helps here at least, and it's at these times that I'm thankful for a lazy eater.

And to top the week off, we got about 6+ inches of snow last night. We lost power for about 8 hours so the three of us had a little camp out in the living room. We are fortunate in that we have a wood stove, so heating ourselves or food is not an issue, but I felt terrible for everyone else that doesn't have that option. Chris read articles to Arwen and me from the Organic Gardening magazine to keep us occupied and we talked about a few new items we might like to try in the garden this year. All in all, not a bad night. I think we're going to do it again tonight actually.

So to summarize, if you couldn't have guessed already, I am in complete love with this little girl. I am so overwhelmed with love that I stare at her and just cry sometimes, especially when she's nursing. It's amazing that even still I am the one that sustains her, keeps her going and she does the same for me. I spend every minute I can sniffing her and kissing her and whispering in her ear just how much I love and adore her. In short, I can't get enough, not one single bit of her...right down to her foul sounds and smells.

Here's one of my favorite pictures of her so far...my sweet peach napping in my baby blanket.