The Story of a Girl (Part II)

I was already 2 days past my due date on my last day of work. We had just seen the doctor on Wednesday, my due date, and he had written me out of work. I never anticipated having the baby before my due date, or on the date for that matter. From the beginning I had a gut feeling that I'd have a late baby (I also had a feeling I was having a girl), so I was looking forward to 2 or 3 days at home with Chris. We had that Friday night and the following Saturday afternoon.

Around 6PM on Saturday evening I started having consistent and real contractions. I'd been having Braxton Hicks mixed with real contractions consistently for 2 weeks prior to this, but I definitely knew something was very different about what was going on that night. My family came to the house that afternoon to spend some time and have dinner with us and I'm so glad they did, so glad that my momma got to see me pregnant one last time. When they left Chris and I settled in and starting timing. The contractions jumped between 4 and 7 minutes apart for several hours while we were rambling around the house and getting last minute things packed up, so Chris was beginning to think that we might actually be having one of those long 'fake' nights again. I knew better. When women tell you, "You'll know when you're in labor", it's easy to doubt as a first-timer, but let me join that long line of women...you will know when you're in labor.

We called the doctor around 1AM and he told us that the fluctuation in timing was normal and that we should call him again and plan to come to the hospital when the contractions were about 4 minutes apart for a couple hours. So we kept timing. Chris made videos of us talking and laughing and counting that night. We talked about how we were feeling then, who we thought we'd be bringing home with us in a couple days, whether or not we were scared. Remarkably, I never felt scared. I don't know how, but fear was never an emotion that crossed me that day or in the days leading up to that point. I had been mentally preparing myself for this for 9 months. I accepted the contractions when they came and I made up my mind to overcome them. That was it. And at 3AM we called the doctor back and headed to the hospital.

Arriving at the hospital in real life isn't the production that it is on the big screen. There's no one waiting on you out front, no wheel chairs, no screaming nurses. We parked, walked ourselves in, spoke to the security officer and hauled ourselves up to Labor and Delivery. Simple as pie. We gave the desk nurse our information and were taken to a room. Our nurse for the next 2 hours (it was close to shift change) hooked me up to the monitors for the initial tests. She also did an exam to make sure there were changes from the last time I was at the doctor's office, otherwise it was back to the house for us. Baby and I both were great and I had dilated another centimeter. We were in it for the long haul; we were going to have a baby!

Since I'd stated in my birth plan that I didn't want to be kept in bed I was given an IV port in my hand and Chris and I had free run of the place. We walked around the floor and the lobby and labored until shift change when we had to go back for another round of monitoring. We'd also specified in my birth plan that my intentions were to have a natural childbirth and that we'd prefer a specific nurse to be with us if she were on call. She wasn't, but this turned out to be one of the many blessings of that day.

Our nurse instead was Patty, the hospital's 'specialist' in natural childbirth. Her story itself is pretty amazing; 9 children, all delivered naturally, 3 delivered at home. We knew immediately that we were going to love her, but didn't realize how much until it was all over. While she was monitoring the baby she talked to Chris and me about her views and experiences, talked to me about ways to improve my breathing and to Chris about how he could be more helpful when the labor got more intense. She wasn't just our L&D coach that day, she was also our life coach. I can't say enough wonderful things about Patty. She stayed with us the entire time through labor and delivery and talked me through some of the most difficult pain of my life. She taught Chris how to apply pressure to my back when the contractions got stronger, she watched lovingly as Chris and I slow danced through contractions, she encouraged us both as the pain got so incredible that my concentration on breathing waned, she never let me doubt myself or the job I was doing.

Labor was not easy. I never expected it to be. If I have any advice to give anyone thinking of a natural childbirth it's to be mentally prepared for it. If natural is the way you want to go then you have to enter the whole process with your heart and mind set on it. There were times around 8 centimeters that I began to quietly doubt myself and my decision, but thankfully I had a great support team in Chris and Patty. That's another piece of advice from me: have support in whatever form you need it. I had Chris and a picture of my Mawmaw and Pawpaw with me, but Patty was our unexpected support, the anchor when our little boat began to rock under the waves.

It took me about 13 hours to dilate completely and a little over 3 hours after that to push. Pushing was by far the most difficult part of the entire birth. No one can tell you how to push effectively and after no sleep, 13 hours of labor and 3 hours of pushing you forget in that minute and a half break what the doctor told you was right. My contractions were long enough that I was able to get in 4 pushes almost every time and most of the time only half of my pushes were 'right' (you have to push up for those of you who are first-timers like me and it's not just that simple, it takes a bit of practice). It was then that I thought maybe it wasn't me at all; maybe Arwen wasn't quite ready to leave her little nest. And by 2 and half hours into pushing I was ready to make a deal with the devil to leave her in a bit longer, just so I could take a nap...I'd have settled for just 30 minutes.

While I'm throwing around praises let me tell you about my doctor. I think he realized early on that I was going to have a lot of trouble getting Arwen pushed under that last little bone, but he was terribly patient. At 2 hours he told Chris and me that he understood it'd been a long day and that he knew I was very tired. He said that the baby was 'right there' and we could have her in a minute if that's what we wanted. We chose to wait, we wanted to keep going. He said OK and we kept going with him patiently talking me through contractions and pushes. When hour 3 had come and passed he reminded us again that we could have our sweet one in just a minute if we wanted. He was never pushy or agitated, but I could tell by the look on his face that I was getting nowhere fast and I knew how long it'd been since my water had broken. So Chris and I talked and decided we take the doctor up on his offer, we'd let him use suction to help Arwen and me.

That was the first time I cried. I felt so terrible that I'd let myself, Chris and Patty down. I felt like I was giving up and it hurt my heart so badly. Chris assured me that he was nothing but proud of what I'd achieved and the next thing I knew we had a baby. Chris introduced me to our sweet little girl and nothing else mattered. It was just like my Momma and Mawmaw had promised all those months ago when I talked to them about doing this naturally, "When you see that baby all the pain will go away." And it did. Patty and my doctor both talked to us later and told me that I was in fact going nowhere in a hurry and that I'd made the right decision, that it was time for me to let someone help me through with the rest. It felt good that Chris nor Patty were disappointed with my decision, I knew I could fight my own demons later. We had our healthy little girl and I was on top of the world.

I can't finish this without thanking Chris. What would I do without him? Such a wonderful partner throughout our pregnancy; there for every single bedtime vomit fest, crying session, worrying chatter, doctor appointment, you name it. He was my champion through the thick and the thin and all the learning curves along the way. And when it came time to welcome our sweet baby girl he was there by my side for every single contraction and push. We walked and we talked and we swayed those contractions away. He gave every bit of his strength when my own was waning and together we accomplished a great feat. We brought Arwen into the world just as we'd hoped and I was so very proud of both of us.